Tampilkan postingan dengan label communication skill. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label communication skill. Tampilkan semua postingan

Kamis, 26 Mei 2011

NEGATIVE NON VERBAL LANGUAGE


NEGATIVE NON VERBAL LANGUAGE

                   There are some negative signals sent to others in your sitting or standing gestures and position. If you want to make others feel comfortable with you avoid being habit of this position. The most common negative signal we often practice that we may not realize is cross leg position. There are many type of cross leg positions and sent signals. Don’t do this again if you want to be an open attitude person. The purpose of the cross leg position is to cover the genital area but unfortunately it means defensive attitude generally.
            First, the standard legs cross indicates nervous, reserved or defensive attitude. Let me give one exception this position may not show negative signals during a lecture in long period of time. It indicates finding a comfortable position. I suggest you should never sit in this position in an interview session.
             
Second, many American often use this position. It indicates argumentative or competitive attitudes. In a negotiation it will be difficult to reach an agreement if you have a partner sitting in this position. Try to pose an opinion so that he change the position, drag the conversation to the interesting signal. First you should lean forward then ask “ what is your suggestion for this matter? “ if he has changed the position you can close the negotiation in your own end.
           
Third, arms lock cross leg shows a stubborn and tough minded person. You need to find many tricks to break his point of view. He uses double protective signals, his hands and his cross legs. His position is very comfortable he doesn’t want any body to move his position. Take this person move to another place keep him changing in open position so you can continue a negotiation.
                        Fourth, defensive standing position sometimes makes very comfortable and relax gestures, however this gesture shows defense and unconfidence. This position is taken in group of people where you do not know them well. A person who always stands in this position could be shy, defensive, or nervous. It does not show a cold weather. Feeling cold, someone will put his palms of his hand in his armpits.
                        Fifth, the best way you attract others feel comfortable with you in a group of standing meeting is open attitude position. People will never leave you alone in a standing party if you consistently stand in open attitude position.

                        Sixth, Ankle lock gesture is also an indication of negative signal. An interviewee sometimes does not realize that he is in the sitting position. It shows that he is nervous. You may face unsuccessful situation when you are in the position while you are in an interview session. Try to change your ankles position or unlock your ankles.
                        These are examples of foot lock and cross leg lock. Whatever reason the various leg and foot lock position send negative signals. You should avoid those positions. You ‘d rather use positive and open body position is order to feel more confident and build better relationship with others.

Note: All figures in this article are taken from “Body language how to read others thought by their gestures, Alan Pease, Sheldon Press , London, 1981” this is a summary of Alan Pease interpretation in his book.
                       

Senin, 09 Mei 2011

non verbal language


NON VERBAL LANGUAGE
    Have you ever count how long you make a conversation in a day, Three hours, two hours, or less than ten minutes?. When you meet your offices mate what do you say to them? You may greet them then make a small talk. I think it will only take a few minutes then you will get to work. A researcher, Albert Mehrabian studied that communication is sent about 7 % through verbal language (words) 38 % through voice/ intonation and other sounds and 55 % through non-verbal language. Professor Birdwhistell said that verbal language in face –face conversation is less than 35 % and over 65 % of communication is sent by non verbal language.
    Researchers believe that non verbal language can be understood by some gestures, facial expressions, and body movements. You will get the point if you talk to someone and he nods his eyes. In most culture nodding means agreement. This is one of non verbal language that most of us often use.
    Do you know that everyone has different zones when he makes a conversation? Well you can think where you are. Intimate zone ranges from 15 cm to 45 cm or 6 inches to 18 inches. It includes children with their parents and family, lovers and close friends. If you are a new person don’t try to enter this zone in case you will get negative response.
    Second, personal zone is about 46 cm to 1.22 m or 4 to 12 feet. This distance exists when you have cocktail parties, office parties, office gathering, and social gatherings. In this zone you can talk a topic which is personal but not intimate. You can ask “how do you spend Sundays? . you may talk about specific hobbies , gardening and cooking. Never ask “ Do you have a boy friend or girl friend? “ because this question is suitable in the intimate zone.
    Third, social zone is about 1.22 m to 3.6 m or 12 feet. This distance is for stranger. An electrician, a plumber or a carpenter who work in our house and we don’t know well. We always keep this distance when we talk to them.
    Fourth, Public Zone ranges from 3.6 m or over 12 feet. This zone exists when we address a large group of people. You will automatically stand in a comfortable position facing this situation.
    Two lovers sometimes press their torsos to manifest their closeness. It will happen in the intimate zone; however you should be careful when you press your body in a public area which is crowded.  Your deliberate pressure to other’s intimate zone can be a threat for instance in    crowding cinemas, elevators, trains, buses or public exhibition. There are unwritten rules you should obey. Every country has different rules in this situation. I hope this information will be useful. You can try the best distance when you make a conversation so that you and your partner will feel comfortable and you can make friendship or build better relationship.

Minggu, 17 April 2011

THE POWER OF NONVERBAL LANGUAGE


THE POWER OF NONVERBAL LANGUAGE

                        Recent studies indicate that a third massage is sent by verbal communication. The rest are stronger. That is nonverbal communication and image. Nonverbal image shows the real deeds which a person has. Some interviewer gets massages and impressions during the fist five minutes conducting an interview.
                        What will you say if you see a woman with blonde hair in her newest style, quite tall, with suitable clothing, walking straightly as if she was a model and giving a warm smile? Someone will say, she may be a model, she may be an actress, she may be a secretary of a big company. How about a woman with bad hairstyle, improper clothing, bad color selection, walking in front of you, without any smile, putting her hate rage image on her face. Some one may joke she is a witch, or lonely woman. “Like it or not, people do male initial judgments about others based on their appearance. Since you cannot alter this fact, it is best to learn to use it to your advantage. If you effectively manage your image, you can convey positive messages regarding your authority,  credibility, and competence.”( Nail the Job Interview, Caryl Rae Kranrich, Phd, Ronald L Kranrich,Phd, Impact Publication, Manassas park, Virginia.2003)
 Here are some tips how you can change your image in the positive manner.
  1. Build your image by your clothing color selection.
               You had better not wear black suit because black color is a color for funeral and very formal event. It is better to wear, grey, navy, camel, and other light colors which are acceptable for business suit. Sometimes you do not have to wear suit but you wear trousers and a plain or white shirt with a tie. It is less informal but it is acceptable in Asian countries.
  1. manage your stress
               Everyone has different level of nervousness. Fight for the nervousness is sometimes counter productive. You need to manage your stress by preparing and gathering information about the company and the job field. Practicing interview session with your friend or in front of a mirror is useful too. The more you get to interviews the better you can manage your stress. Your experience teaches you how to handle the nervousness.  
  1. Control your body language.
               Take a deep breath without the interviewer’s knowing. It can be done before you stand up to enter the interview room. Walk to the interviewer and shake his hand firmly, wait and sit and let he open the conversation. If the interviewer comes to you stands up to your full position before he reach you. Be alert, energetic, and put on your smile. Then shake his hand firmly.
  1. Lean slightly forward.
               This sitting position shows your interest to the topic that an interviewer talking. Do not lean too forward as if you are scrutinizing him. Lean forward hardly noticeable.
  1. keep eye contact
               Keeping eye contact while asking and answering questions transmits honesty and interest.  It means that you do not stare at the interviewer.
  1. put on friendly smile
               How your facial expression sends massage to the interviewer gives comfort to anyone who see you with friendly smile. An interviewer will catch you at the first meeting when you “Good morning “he will notice your facial expression. Can you put on your warm smile at this moment?
  1. Voice and intonation
               Your steady voice is conveys confidence. Pathetic voice shows less confidence. Your quality voice is important in face to face interview and telephone interview. Record your voice in answering questions then listen, you can make critical judgment to your voice. Is your voice easy listening or full of doubt? 
  1. These are some gestures you should do
-  Keep you head upright.
-  Do not fold your arms on your chest.
-  Speak clearly not too slow and too fast.
-  Give sign by nodding your head but not overact.
-  Sit straightly and lean forward lightly.
-  Move with a gesture if necessary while you are talking
-  Do not cross your legs.
-  Put your feet on the floor.
-  Use a good language and diction.
Bibliography
Nail the Job Interview, Caryl Rae Kranrich, Phd, Ronald L Kranrich,Phd, Impact Publication, Manassas park, Virginia.2003